Everything Wrong With: Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney
by PierceTheVeils
Summary: No video game is without sin.
1. Everything Wrong With: Episode One

Everything Wrong With: Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney

Episode One: Turnabout Trump

 **Spoilers... duh**

"Wait, this case took place took place on 4/20? Damn. I should have smoked a joint before starting this review. Hold on a sec..." *forgets to sin

(In the lobby) "Who did the local government pay to do that painting of His Honor? However much it was, I can guarantee it was too much." *ding

"Professional attorney Kristoph Gavin forgot to put his collar down this morning. Considering how obsessed we later learn he is with personal appearance, this should be our first sign something is seriously wrong with him." *ding

("Your first trial, and it's a homicide. I guess "Justice" doesn't start small.") "No, it's because Justice is a main character in this series, and that's the only kind of trial they're allowed to take. Get it right, Gavin." *ding

"Apollo wakes up at five am to scream for four hours. And I thought _I_ hated my life." *ding

"Phoenix makes fun of Apollo for having an odd name, but um... His mother named him Phoenix. Does he really have room to talk?" *ding

"Also... (ahem) (in my best impression) I'm sorry, the old Phoenix Wright can't come to the phone right now. Why? ...Oh! Cause he's dead. (Music restarts)" *ding

(In the trial) "Winston Payne's hair." *ding

"The Phoenix Wright reveal. I cannot be the only one who screamed when I first played this game." *ding

"Also, Apollo gives a voice to every player ever during the "Phoenix is a gambling hobo" scene. He should already know this happened, but we need to audience to get used to this, so-" *ding

(Grape juice was the murder weapon) "Obvious substitution of alcohol is obvious." *ding

"Shadi Smith. There's no way that's an alias or anything." *ding

"I click that I don't want a Cross Examination tutorial, but the game gives me one anyway. Why?" *ding

"Game goes from the optimistic, we're-all-family-and-help-each-other-fight-our-demons mood at the end of T&T to... Gambling in a smoky room once made for gangsters all night with a bottle of "grape juice" at your side. Some might call this maturation of the series. I call it the edgy teenage years." *ding

"The Logic theme. I don't normally remove sins for Logic themes, but this one is too good to pass on. The whole soundtrack is amazing." *removes a sin

"Does Phoenix still own the same cell phone he did in the first game? I think he still owns the same cell phone he did in the first game. It's been ten years, man!" *ding

(Orly takes the stand) "Orly confesses to casually dropping cold borscht onto customer's laps all the time, but is still employed as a waitress. I don't care how high I am. If some wastes my meal by dropping it on me, I'm not going back to this rest- Great, now I want some borscht. Hold on..." *remembers to sin before leaving

"A gangster named Badgai. It's not quite naming a character after lettuce, but really?" *ding

"Apollo jumps to the same conclusion as the rest of us about Orly being the killer. I guess he, like us, played the trilogy before coming here. Too bad this game was made to be a big fuck you to its predecessors, or I could almost count this as genre savviness." *ding

("That's ridiculous because... Mr. Wright can't lose!") "Frivolous Objection cliche. I see we're starting early this game?" *ding

"His Honor was scandalized by the thought of poker at the beginning of the trial. Now, he's "the Poker Head of Courtroom No. 3". I'm going to be saying this a lot to various characters in this game, but... Hypocrite much?" *ding

(Phoenix gets out of the charge he stole a locket by saying it has a picture of his daughter inside) "Clever bastard." *no sin out of grudging respect

(The poker chip contradiction) "Game thinks I'm willing to do math in order to solve this case. Game could not be more wrong." *ding

"First Payne and the judge admonish Phoenix for playing poker, then they shame Apollo for having never played. Make up your mind, assholes." *ding

(Apollo examines the back of the cards) "How is the Apollo the first one to notice this? Are you telling me no one in the police investigation ever flipped the cards in the victim's hand over even once? Not even by accident? What is it with this series and their inability to check the back of things?!" *ding

"The Pursuit theme." *removes a sin

"Fainting in court cliché." *ding

"In both the first case of the fourth game and the fourth case of the first game, an acquittal is prolonged by the defendant for the purpose of revealing the true killer and dragging up past events. And I thought I named all the parallels in my Turnabout Goodbyes review." *sin on me for forgetting one

"Just think: If Gavin hadn't felt the need to wax poetic about card color, he would have never been suspected of this murder by anyone other than Phoenix. Culprit foils his own plot for one of the most minor and stupid of reasons." *ding

"Judge calls Gavin to his chamber for unspecified (and, as far as we know, unimportant) reasons, all so Phoenix can talk alone with Apollo for the sake of the plot. Is His Honor in on the plot? Did Takumi promise to play poker with him afterwards? This is never explained." *ding

(Phoenix and Kristoph passive-aggressively fight during recess) "Phoenix and Kristoph are locked in an intense foreshadowing contest to see who can tell you the most about how this case ends. Right now, I'd say they're about neck and neck." *ding

"Phoenix tells Apollo about Apollo's own superpower. Because clearly Apollo has never been around a tense person before, felt his bracelet tighten, looked around to figure out why, and possibly figured the trick out for himself. No way was that a situation that ever could have occurred in his life." *ding

(Back in trial) "Innocent first case witness is given a transformation worthy of a culprit for the sole purpose of confusing the player. Much like the character, AJ:AA doesn't start small with their mysteries, does it?" *not really a sin

(Making jokes about Orly's name) "This goes on for some time." *ding

"Shadi Enigmar came out of hiding not to see his daughter, ensure her adoptive parent is taking care of her, explain why he abandoned her, or to clear his name. No, it's to keep the Gramarye rights out of his ex-partner's hands and destroy Phoenix's second career. When the latter fails, he throws a hissy fit and assaults his accomplice. If he hadn't been killed off before the first case started, I can almost guarantee he'd be one of the most hated characters in the series. In some circles, he still is. This guy has _no_ redeeming character traits. None." *three sins for now

(Orly takes pleasure in her role of framing Phoenix) "Why are all the blonde characters invested in exposing Phoenix as a fraud in this game? I thought it was the redheads who had a problem with him." *ding

"Also, heavy-handed parallels with the finale case. It makes for a great intro case, but a lackluster finale. Everyone expects the best twists to come at the end of the story. If you play your best hands in the first round, you aren't going to walk away with the big bucks when the night is over. For a game with a case so focused on gambling, you think it would adhere to the principles better." *ding

(The Perceive Minigame) "Whoooooaaaa that background. I know _I_ took drugs before this case started, but I don't have anything _close_ to what Apollo is on. Who does he get his shit from?" *ding

(Orly explains her assault) "Speaking of getting hit with a bottle... one hit on the head from an empty glass bottle at a cheap, seedy restaurant (who probably buys the cheapest grape juice possible) is supposedly enough to give a man cerebral hemorrhaging (internal bleeding _within the brain_ ) and instantaneous death without breaking the bottle. Despite that, a hit to the neck causes no ill effects beyond lingering soreness and temporary unconsciousness. Why? _How?_ No way do I believe a white collar lawyer who prefers poisoning his victims has more upper body strength than a trained magician on the run from the law for years, so either Shadi Enigmar has a crazy thin skull, or this murder makes no sense at all." *five sins

"Also, with bottles as cheap as I think they are, there should be shards at that crime scene. Gavin should be wearing gloves to hide the cuts. His blood should be at the murder scene. Orly should be covered in broken glass from her assault. But none of this is included in-game, because... reasons. I guess there's a reason our writer went into gaming, and not forensic science." *three more sins

("Mr. Gavin vs. Mr. Wright... This can't end well.) "Apollo summarizes the entire game in less than ten words. Also:

Apollo: Why can't I have a normal trial!?

"Because you're a main character in this series. I know it might not feel this way, but you _are_ the protagonist of this game. Believe it or not." *ding

"Phoenix admits to purposefully altering a crime scene under oath in court for the sole purpose of entrapment. And naturally, these actions lead to no consequences whatsoever." *ding

(Phoenix recorded the conversation between himself and Kristoph Gavin) "That's not legal. In order to record a conversation in California and have it be legally accepted, both parties must consent to the recording. Sure, this isn't the only time Phoenix uses illegal evidence to prove his point, but I'm surprised no one (say, Kristoph) objects to it." *ding

("You mean someone cracked that flawless bone china plate?") "I'm serious. The _only_ flaw Kristoph has as an Ace Attorney villain is his tendency to wax poetic about details he shouldn't know about. If this man knew how to watch his mouth, he would've gotten away with everything. And despite everything... I kinda get the feeling he should have. But more on that later." *ding

"Also, there's a very easy way for Kristoph to get out of this one: just claim the victim tipped his hat at Kristoph as they passed in the hallway. Sure, he has no way of proving it, but Phoenix can't prove it _didn't_ happen, and Kristoph isn't the one on trial here; Phoenix is. If the burden of proof is on anyone, it's on Phoenix (at least at this juncture)." *ding

" _Also_ also... where was Kristoph when Phoenix made this call? If he was still in the passageway near the Hydeout, there's no way he had cell phone signal. This call should not have happened." *ding

"His Honor calls a recess so Payne can prepare Gavin's testimony, but when they actually go into recess, both Gavin and Phoenix are in the judge's chamber. I guess 'judge's chamber' is code for 'plot convenient absence'?" *ding

(Trucy's appearance) "Phoenix couldn't have forged evidence in Detention, which means Trucy was instructed by her father to forge the ace card, deliver it to a defense attorney during trial, and have the attorney present it at the exact moment necessary to corner (who he believes is) the true killer. Save the first part... does this not sound familiar to anyone? Does Phoenix not think it's at all risky to put newbie, innocent, third-party Apollo's badge on the line _on his very first case_ using the same trick his enemy did to get him disbarred? Does he not see the hypocrisy in using Trucy to hurt Gavin the same way Gavin did him? Part of me wants to hate him for this, but the other... can't see another way for him to have taken Gavin down. I've both loved and hated this case for years on end, all of because of this one action. On one hand, this very move is a complete contradiction to everything the trilogy and greater series stands for in terms of ideals, optimism, and morality. On the other... it's coldly cynical in a way no other game in the series is, and done for purely practical purposes. If Phoenix hates criminals, and wants to take them down alone... he'll do what's needed. In one game, this would make him the villain of the story. But in this one, he's seen as a hero. And how you personally view his actions ultimately says a lot about you as a person. It took Justice For All four cases to set up a conundrum this thought-provoking, and this game does it right out the gate. That takes skill." *ultimately no sin. But only because I can't decide

("My father's fate is in your hands.") "Foreshadowing. In more ways than one." *still not a sin, and I'm not sure why

(Back in trial for the last time) "Objection 2001." *removes a sin

"I know Kristoph claims the only way Apollo could have the ace is if it were forged (and that's ultimately what does him in) but... is being the killer _really_ the only way to come to that conclusion? Apollo never visited the scene of the crime in person. The card was never found during the police investigation. Phoenix was (presumably) searched upon arrest, and it wasn't with him. So if the card was genuine... how on earth would Apollo have acquired it? I understand the plot needs to happen, but if the game was so sensitive to forged evidence seven years ago, why don't they feel the same way now? I want Apollo to remain a lawyer as much as the next player, but... I can't justify this logically! I just can't." *three sins

"Also, Phoenix's explanation of picking up the card for Trucy is bullshit for the reasons outlined above. No way would the the police not seize that card as evidence, had that been the case." *ding

" _Also_ also... forgery claims are made in this court, but no one ever actually analyzes the evidence in question. I doubt Trucy had a sample of her father's blood on hand, so a DNA test would likely prove the evidence isn't genuine. I mean, I guess this is lucky for Apollo, but it seems odd that no one even bothers to check the disputed card. As of now, Kristoph is still seen as a more trustworthy person than Phoenix. Why would everyone just ignore him?" *ding

"If the victim's head dripped blood on the table, why did his hat fall on the floor? That never gets explained." *ding

"Kristoph makes a true statement about the validity of the evidence in question under evidence law (as defined by Rise from the Ashes), and the court's response is to completely ignore him. I get he's an asshole, but does everyone just collectively hate this guy and _want_ him to be convicted at all costs? ...Believable, but still sin-worthy." *ding

"3D layouts of the crime scene." *removes a sin

"I get the logic behind moving the victim and the killer around, but... is there anything disproving the idea of the killer standing off to the side and hitting the victim's forehead by swinging sideways? Best I can tell, that scenario is just as possible with current evidence, not to mention far less complicated." *ding

"A secret passageway ex machina is bad enough, but how exactly does this passageway work? We know the room was created for black marketeers, and can safely assume this was meant as an escape route _out_ of the room. Slide the cupboard aside and make your escape. With that in mind, how would Gavin have been able to move the cupboard aside from inside the passageway? How did he move it back as he was leaving? This is never explained." *ding

"Also, if the passage connects to the restaurant above, how did Phoenix and Gavin never see each other up there? When exactly did Gavin enter the passageway? How was he able to time his entrance exactly right to ensure neither Phoenix nor Orly actually saw him at the crime scene? I wouldn't think he could hear very well from behind the cabinet. And now we _really_ need to know where Gavin was when Phoenix called him: if he were down in the Hydeout portion of the passageway, he wouldn't have cell signal. If he were in the vicinity of the restaurant area, Phoenix would have heard his phone ring nearby. We also know Kristoph substituted the murder weapons out after the murder (he was still around after committing the crime) so... yeah. This murder makes no sense at all. How none of this was brought up in Kristoph's trial (and led to a 'lack of evidence' acquittal') is beyond me." *three sins

"Speaking of Kristoph's trial... how come he was found guilty? The evidence presented in this trial has got to be the shakiest this series has ever seen, and he's supposedly the best attorney in town. You're telling me he can't defend himself against accusations this flimsy from a man no one trusts and a newbie on his first case? I understand the plot reasons behind it, but really: what would have been changed by Kristoph scoring an acquittal for himself in the aftermath of this case? He can still fire Apollo afterwarda (leaving the middle cases unchanged), it would give him the appearance of a more competent rival, make him seem like an actual threat in the finale, and the only scene they would have to alter is the setting in the MASON system. Phoenix could just go to Kristoph's house or law office and get the same result. In fact, that might even be a more believable sequence of events, because of the poison on the- I'm getting ahead of myself and ranting when I could just as easily sin." *ding

"Also... Kristoph had to get his murder weapon off the table, right? How did the victim (who was closer and wound up with rage) not get to it before him? He would be standing (or sitting) in the way, wouldn't he? Why would a man as meticulous as Kristoph not bring his own weapon? If he wanted to get the victim before the victim (who's already knocked one person out tonight) got him, he would have to strike in an instant. An instant he loses by reaching for the bottle. Remind me how Phoe- I mean, Apollo wins this case again?" *ding

"Seeing Payne flailing like this reminds me: that man is utterly useless in this case. Is it any wonder we never see his character again in the main series? My bet is he retired after this." *ding

(Phoenix requested the bottles be brought to trial) "And the defendant of this case was allowed to request such a thing... why again?" *ding

"Gavin's telekinesis powers." *ding

("A dark time is coming for our legal system...") "Foreshadowing. This may also be where Dual Destinies got their idea for the Dark Age of Law, but let's face it: when was anything Dual Destinies put in their game nearly as dark as this? I don't know which game I'm sinning here, but it's a sin nonetheless." *ding

(Apollo punches Phoenix) "...Yeah. He had it coming." *no sin

 **Total Sin Tally: 64**

 **Sentence: Cold Borscht (spilled all over you)**

* * *

 **A/N's: Well that was a ride. Like Apollo, I did NOT start small on this case. I had to research quite a few sins (I still don't have a solid answer on the bit about using a bottle to kill somebody, so if anyone has more insight on that, don't be afraid to speak up), but I wanted to make sure I said exactly what I meant to regarding this case. It's quite controversial, after all.**

 **My opinions can be seen in this work, but I see both sides here, and don't mind discussing it with other people. This may be my favorite first case of the series, but there are still sections that make my stomach turn. I can still remember playing this case for the first time and let me tell you: it was a shock to the system. There were cases before this with surprising elements, sure, but none that shook me to the core like this one. And with a game like this, it's very unapologetic about its new direction. You either like what it's doing, or you hate it. It's really hard to be ambiguous, and yet that's what I am. Approach me one day, I'll take one side. The next day? I've switched.**

 **Also, I feel like a shout out is in order here: thank you, Vimtrust5 for inspiring me to finish this case as soon as I did. I was procrastinating on this project when I saw them post their own review of AJ (for those who don't know, this author writes CinemaWins for this series as a counter to my own work). Their chapters are shorter than mine, sure, but they already have the first three cases of this game up. It motivated me to get in gear. So thank them for getting this chapter before Thanksgiving.**

 **But yeah. Feel free to leave your thoughts about this case in a review, thanks for reading, and I'll see you on the far side!**


	2. Everything Wrong With: Episode Two

Everything Wrong With: Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney

Episode Two: Turnabout Corner

"Opening makes case look like it's going to be _way_ better than it actually is." *ding

"Also, in the opening, the gunshot clearly comes from where Wocky is standing, but in court, we have to prove that _wasn't_ the case. Game shows us an incorrect culprit just to make fun of how they used to show you who the culprit is." *ding

"Apollo can't get a job anywhere else, so he's forced to become the employee of the guy whose daughter gave him false evidence in his plan and gives no fucks (and does nothing to protect against the fact) he could have ended Apollo's career for good. What a great start to their boss/employee relationship." *ding

"Trucy Wright." *removes a sin

"Also, the best version of Trucy Wright's theme song. Fight me on this." *removes another sin

(Apollo is shocked Trucy and Phoenix are only eighteen years apart) "Thalassa is forty when Apollo is twenty-two, so even though Apollo doesn't know... hypocrite much?" *ding

(At the clinic) "Dr. Hickfield is still a character. In a game that cut most the trilogy cast, why the ever-loving fuck would they keep this guy?" *three sins

"Also... he's still pervy as fuck. Trucy is fifteen, goddammit!" *two more sins

(the car accident) "Indestructible nature of Phoenix aside, if Phoenix flew through the air and hit his _head_ on the telephone pole, why is his _ankle_ the body part injured? Did the pole realize the fan backlash it would get if it hurt Phoenix's head and gave him amnesia again? Did Takumi ask the pole to go easy on him? This makes no sense." *ding

("You could just tell me things instead of insinuating them.") "But Apollo! If Phoenix did that, this game would lose half its runtime!" *ding

"Phoenix threatens poverty for himself and his daughter if Apollo doesn't agree to work for them. Aside from essentially being emotional blackmail, it ends up being pointless in this case, because Apollo doesn't get paid for anything he does." *ding

("You wanted a client, didn't you? Well, I'm your client!") "Haha... I quit." *ding

"Apollo says he can't sue anybody because he isn't a prosecutor, but we see a civil case happen two games later, and zero prosecutors were needed. Apollo is a lawyer. He should know this." *ding

(Examining the DVDs) "They confirm Maya's existence in this case, but don't actually show us Maya. So I can only remove a half sin." *half sin removed

(Meeting Eldoon) "They literally named a character 'Noodle Guy'. And I thought Spirit of Justice didn't put effort into their pun names." *ding

"Game forces me to look for a fifteen year old's panties. Thanks for the government watch-list, Capcom!" *ding

"Also, who the fuck hangs panties outside their window?" *ding

("One of our Capos thought he'd make a great point man!") "Phoenix the gangster did not make it into the final version of the game." *ding

"If the car knocked over this much paint, how did none of it get on the car? This is never explained." *ding

"Also, why is Plum Kitaki cleaning up dried paint with a broom? How does that even- I'm gonna need to lower my nitpickiness levels for this case, aren't I?" *ding

(Examining People's Park) "Wendy Oldbag makes a background cameo. This is my favorite appearance of hers by far." *no sin

("Ah, Detective Skye! We're fine ma'am, nothing to report!") "...Detective Skye, eh?" *removes a sin

"Ema threatens to assault Apollo with dangerous fictional chemicals. Naturally, this leads to no consequences whatsoever. But on the bright side, she ended her reputation as a Maya clone in only two lines!" *the sins cancel out

"Game forces me to think about a gangster woman's panties. Because the _teenager_ wasn't bad enough." *ding

"Eldoon says he has a wife, but we never meet her. Did she too commit suicide? Is she Spoon? For an initial investigation that takes us all over the place for reasons we don't know yet, you'd think they'd have time to explain some shit." *ding

"The police won't let us enter the Meraktis Clinic because of its connection to the murder. The garage, however, is perfectly accessible." *ding

"Why does this clinic have a Frankenstein mannequin in their garage? Is this a reference to something? That's never explained." *ding

"In the pictures, the car hits Phoenix head on, so how did the side mirror break off? No way did the car swerve that much in the limited space depicted." *ding

"Wesley Stickler has the girliest phone imaginable." *ding

(Clothing in the tailpipe) "Rise from the Ashes reference. Wait, that's not a sin."

"Trucy spends entirely too much time talking about her panties for a fifteen year old. And yes, I know they're for a magic trick. Talk about getting crap past the radar." *ding

"Also Trucy tells Apollo we haven't solved the panties case yet because we don't know who did it... then says, because we've solved the panties case, we should report to Phoenix. A-plus consistency right there." *ding

(Alita Tiala at the WAA) "I am almost one thousand words into this review, and the murder mystery has only just started. I could have played The First Turnabout (fuck, maybe even Turnabout Sisters), come back, and still been here in time for the actual case to start." *ding

"Also, discount Dahlia Hawthorne." *ding

"Wocky Kitaki's character design." *ding

"Also, Wocky Kitaki." *ten more sins

("I must say I'm used to being inspected by the ladies... But this is the first time I've felt this way with a man.") "Klavier is gay for Apollo? That beats _my_ fanfiction." *ding

"Also... Klavier Gavin, everybody." *removes five sins

"Game spares us from sitting through the thirty minutes Ema took investigating a request later. I'm grateful, but why aren't we spared useless wastes of game time more often?" *ding

(Asking Ema questions results in her snacking loudly) "Game pulls this bullshit three fucking times." *ding

(Bringing Ema "white powder" so we can access the crime scene) "Bet you never thought Ace Attorney would reference cocaine in their games. See what I mean about the edgy teenage years? And this _wasn't_ even the game that got the M-rating. That was their attempt to recreate the series's golden childhood." *but it's funny, so I won't sin

(Ema says it's hard to get guns in this day and age) "Sometime between now and 2026, America passes stricter gun control. Go America!" *no sin

"For a detective on the murder scene, Ema is unusually helpful. After she gets her white powder fix, of course." *still not a sin

"Ema uses her former assistant status to read Apollo's mind. I thought that only works on the lawyer they helped out." *ding

"Meeting Wocky Kitaki. Is ten more sins too excessive?" *sticks with eight

(In the courtroom) "Klavier Gavin's theme song." *removes a sin

"The Rivales Family. Can I just give a blanket ten sins for all further bad pun names like I did in Spirit of Justice? Thank you." *ten sins awarded

(Wocky was shot in the heart) "(singing) Shot through the heart and you're to blame. Darlin', you give looo-oove a bad name. I play my part and you play your game. Darlin'-" *sin on my singing ability

"Klavier takes entirely too much pleasure in telling Wocky about his imminent death. And I thought he was the nicer Gavin brother." *ding

"Wesley Stickler." *three sins

"Why does Stickler wear graduation robes if he's a junior? That's never explained." *ding

(Trucy fakes her kidnapping) "After three games of overusing 'the assistant gets kidnapped/is in trouble' cliche, Trucy uses it to her advantage to prevent Apollo from losing. Trucy may be the most genre savvy character in this series, second only to Aura Blackquill." *no sin

"Also, Klavier clearly knows what's really going on, but he just rolls with it. Why?" *ding

(In the defendant lobby) "Game gives you the same Perceive tutorial two fucking times. Why did we need the second one?" *ding

"Phoenix took his underage daughter to late-night poker games to use her superpower for his benefit. Add this to working magic shows in bars most nights, and I bet Trucy's seen some shit. No wonder she's so damn savvy." *ding

"How does Apollo present an entire noodle stand in court? This isn't DGS. They don't have that shit in the courtroom with them. So how can Stickler look at the other side of a stand that isn't there?" *ding

(Trucy explains the "north vs. south side" contradiction) "Why isn't Trucy a lawyer in this series, or at least a co-counsel more often? She's keeping pace with Apollo, here, and is the only reason he didn't lose this case early on. She's one of the best things about this game, hands down. Why was her role cut down in later games? And how cool would it be for her to stand on the bench with her father? Or even Athena?" *ding

(Stickler explains why he stole Trucy's panties) "Take this out of context, and it sounds _really_ perverted. In context? Not much better. Need I remind you she's fifteen?!" *ding

(Back at the office) "Oh look, it's Alita Tiala. Not gonna lie, I kinda forgot she was in this case. Considering she's the culprit, that's not a good thing." *ding

"Game says they want you to go to the Meraktis Clinic... before you can enter the Meraktis Clinic. There is no indication you need to visit the Detention Center before doing this, and your visit has nothing to do with anything else. You just have to visit every possible location until you get it right." *ding

(Eldoon says he was chased out of business as a doctor by Meraktis) "Why would Eldoon take up running the noodle stand? He was a doctor! Even if he got chased out of business by Meraktis, he could literally just move a couple of miles away and be fine. Everyone needs medical care, and most people want a family doctor close to where they live. He would find patients in no time. Also, medical school is a bitch ton of money. How the fuck is he paying his student l- I'm putting too much thought into this when I could just as easily sin." *ding

"Also, if he was a surgeon, why didn't he work for a hos- yeah, no. Just gonna sin." *ding

"Klavier's motorcycle breaks on him solely for the purpose of us being able to explaining why Meraktis stole the noodle stand in court later. What a plot convenient inconvenience." *ding

(Ema comparing Klavier to Edgeworth) "This is the closest Miles Edgeworth comes to appearing in this game." *ding

"Ema refuses to tell us the story of how Phoenix lost his badge... because she knew it was gonna be the the topic of the finale? I don't have any other explanation for this." *ding

"Shoe print analysis is cool and all, but... where did Ema get a record of everybody's shoe prints if the shoe print kit isn't police issue? That never gets explained." *ding

(At the clinic)"Why would Alita know Meraktis's safe combination? Even if she knew it as an employee, wouldn't Meraktis change it after she left, especially considering the circumstances? This makes no sense. Not that any of Meraktis's other actions are much better, but-" *ding

"Also, say what you want about this case, but its use of forensic mini-games was on point. It has some of my favorite uses of forensics in the entire series." *no sin

(Examining inside the safe) "Game makes fun of itself for typos. I was gonna do that, dammit!" *still no sin, though

"Again: there's no indication you have to visit Phoenix at this point of the investigation, but the game comes to a screeching halt if you do not. I hope everyone had as much fun location hopping as I did at this point of the game." *ding

"We go to the Detention Center just to be told both suspects are in questioning. Why did we come here?" *ding

"Why does Alita leave such clear toe prints with one foot, but not the other? Is it so the player only has one option for forensic analysis?" *ding

"I just realized: we never reported the break in. Good on Apollo and Trucy for being A plus citizens!" *ding

(In the Detention Center with Wocky) "If this series has taught me anything, it is to always be suspicious of quickly escalating relationships. If a girl pulls that trick on you, two times out of two she wants you dead." *ding

"No way is Eldoon's blond hair just a- whooooooaaa. Nice transformation." *no sin

"Also, if Wocky is as close to death as Eldoon says, is there a reason his trial can't be postponed until he's been operated on? I understand the plot reasons behind it, but it wouldn't look very good for this legal system if they let a defendant die from a heart condition they knew about while he was in police custody. I get it's the Dark Age of the Law and all, but that's still dark as fuck. Just because I hate Wocky as a defendant doesn't mean I want him to drop dead on us! Apollo should not get Mia'd, goddammit." *ding

(back in court) "By complete coincidence, the witness we spend an entire investigation learning about the shadiness of is the first witness the prosecution calls to stand for completely unrelated reasons. This case is chock full of coincidences, isn't it?" *ding

"Present the wrong evidence in this part of the case, and Klavier delivers your penalties to the sound of guitar music." *no sin. Just wanted to point that out because I think it's cool

"Why does the entire trial stop for a half hour to get a bullet analyzed? Usually when forensic tests happen mid-trial, they just keep going and talk about something else. Unnecessary waste of trial (if not game) time is unnecessary." *ding

"I get Alita doesn't want to go to jail, but isn't she screwed regardless? The Kitakis know her true nature now. If she were to go free, they would hunt her down and kill her (a la Farewell, My Turnabout). She doesn't gain anything by sending Wocky to jail at this point: he'll die in prison and never marry her. So why does proving her crime take nearly as long as it does?" *ding

"Also, I just realized: for two incidents in a row, Wocky made the near-fatal mistake of bringing a knife to a gunfight. Literally." *ding

("Objection! That's just dumb!") "Frivolous Objection cliche. Again. Unfortunately, no matter how hard Apollo tries, he will never be Miles Edgeworth." *ding

(Proving Meraktis tried to strangle Alita) "What is it with victims injuring nearby women in the neck this game?! This is too oddly specific to become a cliche, goddammit." *ding

"Also, if Meraktis tried to strangle her around the neck, why would her lipstick be on the lamp cord? He didn't have it wrapped around her mouth initially, did he?" *ding

"Body parts as evidence. Apollo just loves this cliche, if Spirit of Justice is anything to go by." *ding

"Also, let's talk about Meraktis's actions the night of the crime: he throws a lamp cord around a girl with a gun (how Alita failed to shoot him them and there is anyone's guess), strangles her to unconsciousness, and just assumes she's dead. Some doctor he is! But it gets better: as he's finding a way to dispose of her body in the noodle stand, he remembers to bring the pistol along with his victim in the stand where she is (she couldn't have brought it with her without him noticing. She didn't wake up until she was in the stand, remember?) for no apparent reason. You've heard of culprit foiling their own plot and defendant causing their own arrest, now meet their distant cousin: victim causing their own murder. Because Meraktis can't just be an asshole; he also has to be an idiot." *ding

(Klavier saves our asses) "The trilogy brought you mentor ex machina, and it's too early in the series for Thought Routes, so meet the interim invention: Klavier ex machina. It's a refreshing different to have a prosecutor who will work with us to find the truth almost from the get go, but I'm not gonna lie: it does make the game a bit too easy for me, and takes away the pleasure of solving the case almost as much as when Mia would solve it for us. The sin isn't on Klavier as a character. Just the gameplay execution of him." *ding

(We prove Meraktis moved Alita in the noodle stand) "And now we see how all the mysteries come together: through incredibly convenient coincidence." *ding

(after the verdict) "Big Win's huge-ass eyebrows." *ding

"Also, Apollo doesn't paid for this. He's been unemployed for two months, and is fresh out of college nonetheless. The Kitaki's have money, and he's got student loans to pay, goddammit." *ding

 **Total Sin Tally: 93.5**

 **Sentence: Hypertension (and stolen panties)**

* * *

 **A/N's: So I'm back. I don't actually hate this case as much as other people do (not saying I like it, and I can understand where the hate comes from, I just don't personally feel it), and actually thought it had some good moments. It wasn't a good case, but it had good moments. Maybe that's why it didn't break the hundred sin barrier.**

 **But I think this is my first game to have a second case review be shorter than the first. I just had a lot to say about Turnabout Trump. Shame the middle cases didn't keep the hype going. They're okay, but not all that remarkable. Not to mention, Turnabout Serenade is frustrating as fuck. Don't be surprised if I take my time sinning that case...**

 **Even so, I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading, don't forget to review, and I'll see you on the far side!**


	3. Everything Wrong With: Episode Three

Everything Wrong With: Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney

Episode Three: Turnabout Serenade

"Rock concerts with twenty minute intermissions and a midsection solely reserved for a slow-ass ballad, utterly killing the rock and roll energy generated by what appeared to be a solid opening. Who did Klavier put in charge of planning his concerts? Fire that person." *ding

"Also if Klavier is anywhere near as big a deal as the game makes him out to be, twenty percent off isn't going to make his tickets affordable to Apollo or Phoenix. How are these two even here? Did Trucy pay for them?" *ding

(Romain LeTouse) "This character design." *ding

(Borginian) "Holy fuck, she's speaking in Wingding." *ding

"Lamiroir has to have her responses interpreted, but can understand what people say about her in English just fine. In other words, foreshadowing." *ding

"Also, Apollo makes entirely too many comments about how attractive his mother is. I know he doesn't know, but it's still creepy." *ding

("The Guitar's Serenade") "I sure hope you like this song. This case plays it more times than Star Wars plays the Imperial March. Let's count them together, shall we?"

*First time (no sin)

*As Lamiroir's theme (one sin)

*During Ema's testimony (two sins)

*Watching the video with Valant at the WAA (three sins)

*Explaining why Lamiroir was in the ventilation (four sins)

*The disappearing brooch (five sins)

*With the mixing board in trial former (six sins)

*With the mixing board in trial latter (seven sins)

*Klavier recapping the weird shit that happened to him (eight sins)

*At Daryan's request (nine sins)

*Third time with mixing board (ten sins)

"Did they really only book Lamiroir for one song?" *ding

"Klavier put a homicide detective who professes to despise both him and her job in charge of concert security. Between this and the weird ass performing order, I'm starting to think he wanted his concert to end badly. That, or Takumi told him what was going to happen ahead of time, and he just went with it. For some reason." *ding

(Trying to talk to Ema results only in her snacking loudly) "This goes on for some time. _Again_." *ding

(The murder is revealed) "Ema entrusts a rookie defense lawyer with no police training to watch a crime scene. She also doesn't search the room, confirm that the killer has escaped, or even check to see if the victim is dead. How is Ema still a detective afterwards if she's this bad at her job? She doesn't even face a pay cut for this." *ding

"How does LeTouse not know who shot him? He was facing Daryan and arguing with him, but doesn't know who he is? He's been assigned to Lamiroir for three months, her feature credit with the Gavinners was well planned, but... he doesn't know the name of one of the Gavinners band members? Are they not famous? Did he not investigate every connected party to the people he's investigating? Are _all_ police bad at their jobs in this case?!" *two sins

"Also, if the murder took place in the second set, how long has LeTouse been laying here? Was he just waiting to die? Why didn't he call for help, or at least try to? Why didn't he redo his dying message in blood, try to patch his wound, move at all, or _anything_ a Interpol agent might do in this scenario? Did Takumi also tell him to make his death as confusing as possible?" *three sins

" _Also_ also... what guarantee did Daryan have that no one would find the body in here before he set off the firecrackers? And now that I think about it, why didn't they? He didn't exactly hide it. Wouldn't a normal person expect Lamiroir to return to her dressing room after preforming? Someone like Klavier to walk in between sets with the intent of congratulating her? It's not like he locked the door, right? Did he- I'm overthinking this when I could just as easily sin." *four sins

"Closing your eyes to symbolize dying cliche." *ding

(The gag order/investigation request) "Klavier is the only member of police competent enough to handle the situation with any sense of order. I'd remove a sin, if I weren't an asshole with higher standards than this." *but I won't add one either

(Investigating the crime scene, particularly the background poster) "...Susato Mikotoba? You're eight years early." *not really a sin

"No one bothered to check LeTouse's hand to see if it was holding anything, even though that's a cliche that every detective in this series ought to be instructed in. A coarse corpse course, of course." *ding

"Also, LeTouse supposedly wrote this message in blood, but his fingers are perfectly clean. This wouldn't bother me if it was supposed to be a contradiction we point out in court, but it's not. It's just a detail the artists forgot to include in the final version of the game." *ding

"Also also, LeTouse has been bleeding on the floor for about a half hour and died of blood loss, but the crime scene shows very little blood. Why?" *ding

"Ema leaves Apollo, soon to be the opposition lawyer, in charge of watching the crime scene _again_. See earlier sin." *ding

"Also, Apollo and Trucy are put in charge of keeping a crime scene secure, and their first instinct is to leave it completely unguarded. Why can't one of them stay behind while the other investigates? Is it any wonder this case gets declared a mis- wait, you mean this case _doesn't_ get declared a mistrial due to its shoddy investigation? Why the fuck not? This investigation has barely started and I can already count at _least_ five- (the rest of this rant was cut off for your convenience. It's too early in the case for me to lose my shit)." *but still three sins

(One of the Gavinner's hit songs was titled "My Boyfriend is the Prosecution's Witness") "Klavier Gavin is implied to have a hit single about having a relationship with another men. Naturally, this flies over everyone's heads, in-game and out. What did he say about Apollo in the last case again?" *sin on me for originally missing this

(The mixing board) "The Gavinners are a five person band, but we only ever meet two members. What are the others doing all case? Why do we never talk to them, or hear about them, or anything else that gives them a role in this case? They can shoehorn a magician into a music show, but can't introduce us to the rest of the band?" *ding

"Machi also only responds in Borginian, but understands Lamiroir talking to him in English perfectly fine. See earlier sin." *ding

"Lamiroir's theme song. Variation of Guitar's Serenade or no, it fits her really well." *removes a sin

"How did Daryan carry LeTouse and Machi out to the stage by himself without being noticed? That's never explained." *ding

(In the courthouse) "This huge ass gun is so powerful, its kickback can dislocate the shoulder of a grown adult using it, and break bones in anyone weaker. So naturally, the tiny fourteen year old boy with no gun experience or injury to speak of is the perfect suspect for a killer who shot the gun not only once, but twice. Most people are well aware of this sin, so I won't get into it beyond that, but-" *five sins

"Climbing in an airvent cliche." *ding

"The judge calls Rock and Roll kid's music in 2026, despite the fact that it rose to popularity in the 1950's. I would say it's the music of his generation and not the other way around, but I don't actually know how old he is, because _we_ _never see him age_." *ding

"Ema claims the only reason Machi missed the first shot was because he was blind. Because that's the only reason anyone could have trouble firing a .45-caliber revolver with no training, it seems." *ding

"Apollo steals my argument from above... and uses it to do the prosecutor's work for him. You go, Apollo." *ding

"Message in blood cliche. A twist on the usual, but the core of the cliche remains." *ding

"Case about a rock concert evolves into case about secret agents at the drop of a hat. Am... am I still playing the same case, here?" *ding

(Trial day ends in chaos) "Game tries to parallel with Rise from the Ashes and give its first day of trial something notable to end on. It fails miserably." *ding

("Words are overrated! Feelings are what matter, Apollo." "It's kinda hard to build a court case on feelings.") "Game pokes fun at its sequel six years before said sequel comes out." *ding

"Valant Gramarye." *removes a sin

"...But as much as I love his character, his appearance to give us background on Trucy comes at a really weird time. We just finished a day in trial talking about secret agents and rock concerts, so naturally, our most burning question... is where Trucy gets her magician side from? Can this case not focus on a single direction for more than five minutes?" *ding

(The video) "There is no way to skip this the first time you view it." *ding

"Also, how did they ensure the cape would fly to Lamiroir? That's the only thing in this video that never gets explained. And considering how many times they show it later, you would think it'd come up." *ding

("A Fate Smeared by Tricks and Gadgets") "This song." *removes a sin

"Trucy objects to game's stage directions, which is funny, but... how? Can she see them? Is there a disembodied voice reading them out loud for all the characters to hear? This is never explained." *ding

("Why can't we have a normal, straightforward killing once in a while in this country!?") "Because then this series wouldn't exist. Neither would you." *ding

"Apollo tries to light Ema on fire. The fact the game treats the occurrence so normally should tell you everything you need to know about how crazy these games are." *ding

"Daryan Crescend's hair." *ding

"Daryan offers to bake us pie, but we never get any." *ding

(In Gavin's office) "Gavin is an American prosecutor with a German fetish, but reads his case files in Japanese. Between this and Rise From the Ashes, the localizing team really slacked on this series for a while, didn't they?" *ding

"Klavier says he'll never perform the Guitar's Serenade again... until Turnabout Academy, when he performs it with Juniper Woods. Not sure which game I'm sinning here, but A-plus for consistency." *ding

"How did Klavier get his hands on a newspaper printed in Borginia? I can understand if he printed an online article, but... it looks exactly like a newspaper. Is there evidence that can traverse space as well as time in this game?" *ding

(Lamiroir is attacked) "Am I the only who thinks it might have been better for the series if she died here? It's been ten years and two main games since this came out, and she still hasn't told Apollo and Trucy they're related for no apparent reason. Her dying here would solve that. Nothing about the story in Turnabout Succession would change if Lamiroir was dead when her true identity was revealed, only that Phoenix's jury wouldn't have been so obviously biased by including her. Sure, this case would suffer, but it's not like it can get much worse than it already is going to. Am I alone in thinking they wasted a perfectly good plot, here?" *no sin, just me thinking

"Incuritis. I've already sinned stupidly named people, but stupidly named diseases? That gets a sin of its own." *ding

(Trial day two) "We get a flashback to a scene less than a minute after said scene happens. Who thought that was necessary, and why?" *ding

"Instead of using the thirty minute delay to prepare for the case, Trucy and Apollo read the newspaper. In 2026. Who reads actual newspapers now, let alone nine years in the future?" *ding

"Game plays us the scene in the detention center for the third time in under ten minutes. Were they worried we had the same attention span as the case?" *ding

"Judge says having an interpreter for a witness is most unusual, but... is he saying he's never had someone who doesn't speak English fluently on the stand before? In one of the most immigrant-rich cities in all of America? How has he not encountered this before? If it's the Lamiroir thing, just ask for a different interpreter (like whoever they were using for Machi's interrogation, or Cammy Meele). Why is this such a big deal?" *ding

("Is that one of those new-fangled phones they invented while I wasn't looking?") "This line was written about the iPhone, and no one can convince me otherwise." *ding

"Apollo also tries to light the judge on fire. Are we sure Mr. Reus isn't actually his dad?" *ding

(Apollo argues the case took place during the second set) "Why does Apollo wait until the worst case of the game to do his best lawyering? His argument in this case is better presented and more solid than anything Phoenix presented himself until (I would say) Farewell, My Turnabout, and he does it all without the help of a mentor ex machina. But because the case it's a part of is, well, this case, it goes completely unappreciated. Even if I do remove sins for this, it isn't going to help the case that much." *Still, I take three off

("Logical? I don't think this word means what you think it means, Herr Forehead!") "Hey, what did the Process Bride do to deserve mention in this case? Leave that movie out of this!" *ding

"Lamiroir can't explain to us how her teleportation trick worked because blah blah contract blah blah reasons. Pretty sure murder trials top performance contracts in real life, but hey: it gives Apollo and the player something to do for another few minutes or so. Because this case really needed to go on longer." *ding

"Valant Gramarye cross dressed as Lamiroir for his illusion extremely convincingly. I'd be impressed... If I wasn't more curious where he developed his cross dressing skills in the first place. Was he a drag queen on the side when his magic career slowed down? I... almost want to see that more than this case." *ding

"Apollo's been carrying the mixing board around with him the whole time? That's convenient, but... Why?" *ding

"Also, Klavier was all in a rage about the missed cue in Guilty Love... But completely didn't notice that Lamiroir forgot a word in the middle of her performance? And don't give me the "he was more distracted by the burning guitar", because she forgets the word before that happens, while Klavier is just standing onstage next to Valant. If Klavier is as perfectionistic as this game wants me to believe, he should have been frothing at the mouth long before this." *ding

"Phoenix shows up in this case for two minutes, just to foreshadow his role in the finale. And to prevent Apollo from receiving full credit for his plan to win the case, but I digress." *ding

"Also, Ema found crucial evidence (the firecracker fragments) at the crime scene, but gave them to Phoenix instead of the police. Because that makes sense." *ding

("Lying must be a national pastime in Borginia!") "That's racist." *ding

(Klavier mentions the headset in the hallway) "Prosecutor makes our argument for us cliche." *ding

"Speaking of hearing the faked gunshots... How did no one besides Lamiroir hear the real gunshots in the second act? Lamiroir mentioned a stage hand helping her into the passage, and it would make the most sense for the other Gavinners to be next door in the Gavinners dressing room at this time. But if that's true, then how did they miss this shit? Are you telling me the entire backstage was deserted during the second set? If so, why? This game answers so many persnickety questions, but none of the important ones." *ding

(Klavier connects Daryan's bad playing to shooting LeTouse) "Prosecutor makes our argument for... Didn't I just write this sin?" *ding

"Also... I get what the case is trying to go for with the 'you need decisive evidence' thing, but... Hasn't this been an aspect of the series since day one? In the trilogy, Phoenix won several times with evidence that wasn't conventionally decisive. Phoenix would make cases much like Apollo and Klavier's right here, and it would be more than enough to send the culprit into breakdown confession mode. If such a thing wasn't a problem then, why is it a problem now? Is there something that changed in the seven year gap that we just aren't aware of? Either way, it's a sin." *ding

"Daryan laughs at a guy he recently murdered... For getting murdered. Asshole, much?" *ding

"How has Daryan never been overseas? Detective career aside, he's been in a popular rock band for seven years! Are you telling me they've never had an international tour? Or, they did, and just left their guitarist behind? And what about... I'm overthinking this when I could just as easily sin." *ding

(Gavin describes leaving Borginia) "Scene of Gavin stripping naked in an airport did not make it into the final version of the game." *ding

(Gavin is shocked to realize he was unintentionally party to cocoon smuggling) "Wow. It's almost like he shouldn't have abused his power as a prosecutor for the sake of a thirty-seventh guitar or something. I'm not quite saying Gavin had this coming, but really?" *ding

"Maybe I should have sinned this earlier, but... How did Gavin not notice there was something inside his guitar during the show? Would having stuff inside the sound hole not affect the sound produced? I have a hard time believing this went unnoticed, but unnoticed it went. And that is a sin." *ding

("With great accusation comes great responsibility.") "You had to drag Spiderman into this too? (Sighs)." *ding

"How did Gavin not notice his guitar on fire right away? He's staring at it _and_ holding it. Didn't neither the heat nor light give it away immediately?" *ding

"Klavier saves our asses for the third time today. I like the lack of mentor ex machina, but is rival ex machina really much better?" *ding

("Man man man! How many times do we have to listen to the same damn thing?") "Daryan speaks for every player ever at this stage of the case. Too bad no one listens to him." *ding

"Klavier and His Honor both argue that Apollo's case isn't good enough under the current legal system (even though cases comparable to this were perfectly fine in the trilogy and the prosecutions case was _less_ decisive, especially at the beginning of the trial) because... We need a lead up to the Jurist System in the finale, I guess. Because the legal system in this series doesn't have enough _real_ flaws that we have to point out ones that have never existed before this case, it seems.

"Still, it leads to a cool scene where Apollo gets Machi to confess to a lesser crime and save his own ass, so I'll only give it one sin." *ding

"Daryan's breakdown is pretty stupid, but it means the case is finally over, so I won't sin it." *no sin

"Also... Some people may find it odd how willing Klavier is to let Daryan go down for murder, but think about it: Daryan was willing to light Klavier's guitar on fire while he was playing it just to hide his smuggling plan. If Klavier hadn't removed the guitar in time and put out the fire, he could have been badly injured, or even killed. Unlike his dealings with Wocky, Klavier actually has a reason to be cold here. This case has a lot of problems, but Klavier's motivations aren't one of them." *more a commentary than a sin

(Machina without his sunglasses) "I get the sense this was supposed to be cute, but honestly, it looks more creepy." *ding

(After the trial) "Lamiroir promises to paint Apollo and Trucy for us, but we never see it." *ding

 **Total Sin Tally: 135**

 **Sentence: Bleeding on the floor for a half hour (while listening to Guitar's Serenade)**

* * *

 **A/N's: Well, I'm glad that's over. Sorry my return to fanfiction writing wasn't with something more enjoyable, but hey: consider this a Christmas present. Or if you'd rather wait and consider upcoming updates for Miracle and AAI3 late Christmas presents, that's perfectly okay. I want to update as much as I can over winter break, and maybe even break into the Star Wars fandom with a one shot I'm planning. I wasn't much of a fan until I went to see The Last Jedi with friends, but now I love it and want everything to do with it.**

 **Anyway, expect Turnabout Succession to take a while. It's really long, but I don't quite have a good place for dividing it into parts. If someone has a suggestion, please leave it in a review.**

 **Speaking of reviews... I'd like to give a special shout out to a certain guest review. Thank you for your encouragement. After finishing my nonfiction book outside, I realized how much I'd rather be watching CinemaSins and playing my favorite video games. I was in a bit of a slump for a while, but doing so really ignited my motivation and made me want to push through this case and its review. So again, thank you.**

 **Sorry for the wait, Merry Christmas to all, and to all... I'll see you on the far side. Stay tuned!**


	4. Everything Wrong With: Episode Four

Everything Wrong With: Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney

Episode Four: Turnabout Succession

"Otherwise epic opening makes the poor decision of spoiling two key twists of the case (Vera's fainting and Kristoph's appearance) in the first minute. I thought this would be the first game to never show us who the culprit is, and they ruin that in the _finale_ , of all cases. Seriously, game? You were almost on track to get ten sins removed! Instead, I'll just add them." *review starts with ten sins. Not a good sign, folks.

"Apollo has to babysit Trucy when her dad leaves her alone all day. I guess this why he still shows up to the office after three months of no cases? His first case was six months ago, I'm sure the scandal of Kristoph's arrest has died down by now. Apollo should really try looking for another employer. For his sake." *ding

(Phoenix shows up) "Phoenix says the inclusion of the Jurist System will help people take the courts more seriously, but um... I've experienced DGS. And this case. Both iterations of the Jurist System are just as batshit crazy as the Initial Trial System. Just in different ways, is all." *ding

"Legal system lets a disbarred attorney with a reputation for evidence forging run the Jurist System experiment with zero oversight whatsoever. I'll complain more about this later, but for now... let's just say I completely understand why the Jurist System was scrapped for the main series and move on." *ding

"Phoenix also says he wants to start off the Jurist System with a simple case, but chooses a murder trial for such purposes. I'll let Apollo, Kristoph, and Ema explain why this is total bullshit:

Apollo: That's not simple at all!

Kristoph: Your first trial, and it's a homicide. I guess "Justice" doesn't start small.

Ema: Why can't we have a normal, straightforward killing for once in this country!?" *ding

"Phoenix signed Apollo up to participate in the Jurist test trial without any consent from Apollo or (as far as we know) informing Vera. The first game told me that both defender and client have to agree before the defense can take a case, and now you're telling me that neither party has to?" *ding

"I feel like I should wait before getting into this, but... Phoenix spent the last seven years preparing to clear his name once and for all in this case, yet the trial for Drew Misham's murder was only made the test case a day beforehand, meaning they had a completely different case lined up. What would Phoenix have done if Misham died of a heart attack five years ago? What if the poison trap had never sprung and Misham lived well into his eighties? Phoenix would have done all this work for nothing." *ding

"How _is_ it that Phoenix managed to time the approval and execution of a Jurist test trial with the exact same time Drew Misham died? Did he have the test date pending and was keeping an obsessive watch on the guy? At best, Phoenix is an incredibly lucky bastard that has pleased the scriptwriter gods, allowing his plan to work perfectly through sheer coincidence. At worst, Phoenix knew when Misham would die because he helped bring about his death, and had planned it well in advance. So either he's terrible at masterminding the game and changing the legal system to fit his agenda, or he's so good at it that Simon Keyes and Damon Gant would both respect him. Discuss." *three sins either way

(Meeting Vera) "Vera loves magic and especially the Gramaryes, but when a Gramarye (Trucy) does a magic trick in front of her, she freaks out and faints. I might be an asshole for sinning this, but sin it I will." *ding

("I'm also really good with astrology! Tell me. What's your sign?") "Apollo's attempts at flirting." *ding

(Drew Studio) "This music. Say what you want about the rest of it, but the music in this game is great." *removes a sin

"Drew Misham drinks coffee at nine pm every night. Is he related to April May, by any chance?" *ding

"Police allowed Vera to carry poisoned nail polish into detention with her. I know they did it to pacify her, but since are the police that nice while arresting people? Vera's a small girl. If they wanted to take her by force, they could. They may think they're being nice, but seeing as that shit nearly kills her, it's just gonna bite them in the ass in the long run." *ding

"We can turn the coffee mug upside down while checking it, but no coffee spills out. I want coffee like that!" *ding

"Poison testing fluid looks exactly like Luminol. For some reason." *ding

"X-Ray machine forces you to keep turning and rubbing long after you can read what's on the screen." *ding

"Kristoph spent a hundred thousand dollars on forged evidence? _Why?!_ Game tries to convince us it's because he wanted to be known as a successful lawyer, but if he has that sort of money to throw around, he's clearly successful already. So what was the point?" *ding

"Game makes a big deal about the fact that Brushel came to interview Misham the day of the murder, but it turns out to be a complete coincidence. Bad timing, huh?" *ding

(Sunshine Coliseum) "More people can be seen outside for Valant's show than for the Gavinner's concert. Since when are magic shows more popular than rock concerts?" *ding

("Your father was a great man, Trucy.") "Hahahahahahaha. No." *ding

"If Zak was declared legally dead in April, why did Valant wait until October to do a big show? Why would he keep the rights to the Gramarye tricks for six months, but wait until the day they would be taken from him to use any? Was it a deal he made with the scriptwriter to maximize dramaticism?" *ding

"The Blue Badger is relegated to a background cameo. This is my favorite appearance of the thing by _far_." *no sin

"I just noticed: the Gramarye seal has the part of the Chinese character for 'kingdom' inside it. Not only was Magnifi super confident in his abilities, he considered his troupe his kingdom, a kingdom that he could rule over with an iron fist. Cool bilingual bonus is cool." *no sin

"Spark Brushel. I'd give more than one sin here, but the final tally's gonna be astronomical regardless, so I'll stick with one for now." *ding

"On another note, Phoenix says Apollo isn't supposed to be allowed to speak with people involved in the case, but he speaks with all of them anyway. Why bother telling him that, then?" *ding

"Brushel is constantly writing in his arm, but we never see any ink on it. Why?" *ding

"Also, Brushel attended the Diego Armando school of speaking in nonsensical metaphor. How large was its graduating class?" *ding

(Misham's rough sketches) "These artistic despictions of Apollo's previous cases are cool and all, but they raise a lot more questions than they answer. Game gives a half-assed explanation later as to why Misham is doing this, but the how is left a complete mystery. Recall that he never leaves the house, here. He isn't visiting the scenes after the case is over. Does he know what everything looks like off the top of his head for no reason? He gets the hand in the Turnabout Trump picture completely wrong (three of a kind vs. full house), so I don't think he's reading case files or observing evidence. Is he paying someone to stalk Apollo? Did he hack into various security feeds? The fuck is going on here?" *ding

"Apollo dismisses the possibility of Misham being his father as being too ridiculous, but two games later, he completely accepts the premise that his father was a world-traveling musician who died in a queen's house on fire. What changed from now to Spirit of Justice? Aside from the writer, I mean." *ding

(In court) "Trucy advises a young shut in to 'sell' herself. Who wrote all these sexual jokes about/for a fifteen year old, and why was it considered appropriate?" *ding

"Klavier is our prosecutor? Why? Phoenix has been planning this trial for _years_ to take out Kristoph and clear his own name, so... he puts Kristoph's brother in charge of prosecuting? Even though he hadn't prosecuted much at all until four months ago? We see how much this fucks with the guy later, and why would Phoenix risk the conflict of interest to begin with? Couldn't it just as easily backfire on him?" *ding

"Atroquinine is an incredibly rare man-made poison lethal at 0.002 mg, and literally no one is curious as to where Vera would have gotten such a thing. Need I remind you she's a shut-in, and all her contact with the outside world comes through a box her father checks regularly? How the fuck would she have ever gotten her hands on this without her father noticing?" *ding

(Brushel attempts suicide by tie) "This animation." *ding

(Brushel sniffing out a scoop) "Also, this one." *ding

(Brushel using a toothbrush on his tongue and glasses) "And _this_... Okay, let's just say this guy's animations need improvement, and move on." *ding

(Perceiving Brushel's sweating) "Some disgusting shit." *ding

(Apollo points to the stamp as the murder weapon) "One sin off for Apollo's great lawyering. Even if it makes the second trial day that much more painful to watch, I'm proud to see how much Apollo came into his own for this case. He's way ahead of fourth-case Phoenix when it comes to presenting solid arguments confidently. If I had to place it, I'd say he's where Phoenix was in the middle of T&T, taking less than half the time to get there." *removes a sin

("Murder is a simple business. Who would go to such lengths?") "Your brother." *ding

"Klavier is obsessed with playing his guitar in this trial. He does it, like, every two minutes. I like it too, but not this much." *ding

("A poisoned stamp in this envelope? A stamp that then became the murder weapon? How do you intend to prove this seeming coincidence?") "Through snooping in prison, stealing shit, 'recreating' evidence, and traveling through the barriers of time, naturally. How could you _not_ get that?" *ding

"Still, Klavier Gavin would be awesome at CinemaSins." *no sin. I would love to work with him

(Ema's Kristoph impression) "This is funny, but... why? Did Takumi ask Ema to foreshadow the second day of trial for him? Was the opening not enough to clue the player in? Who thought this was necessary?" *ding

"Also... does Ema even know Kristoph Gavin well enough to do impressions of him? Have they even met? How would we know?" *ding

(Klavier points out flaws in the case's premise) "Why is Klavier Gavin the only voice of reason of this trial? I mean, good on him, but sin on everyone else." *ding

(Vera stares at Klavier) "Foreshadowing." *ding

"Why does Vera draw the same thing in her sketchbook multiple times? Isn't that a waste of paper?" *ding

"Vera is in love with all things Gramarye, but still refers to Trucy (a Gramarye)'s magic as 'gags'. If she knows her dad has been watching Wright and Co. for seven years now, and knows the contents of what he sees, why isn't Vera fangirling at this very moment? Does she really not know who Trucy is?" *ding

(The "what's 'hard?!'" exchange) "Apollo is hard for Klavier? That beats _my_ fanfiction." *ding

(Vera kept the stamp because of the picture on it) "And to think, if Kristoph had used _any_ other stamp, he would have gotten away with everything. How many times is he going to foil his own plot for one of the most minor and stupid of reasons in this game?" *ding

"Klavier freaks out at the mere mention of Gramarye here (as well as any connection this case has with his first case), but in the last case, he hired Valant Gramarye to perform at his music show with no traumatic flashbacks to speak of. What changed between now and then? Did Klavier not recognize the guy? Was it really possible he never learned the magician's name? How does this make any sense?" *ding

(Vera faints) "Make no mistake, I still like this scene. But I can't be the only one who thinks it would have been way cooler as a surprise. Why did the opening feel the need to spoil it for us? I'm still mad about this, goddammit!" *ding

"Also, fainting in court cliche. Though Vera is the current record holder for the series, she is far from the first character to do this, so unfortunately, I must sin." *ding

(The flashback case) "They put a case inside a case? I'm as excited as the next player for this trial, but why put it midway into the finale? Why not just do what T&T did and make it its own episode? Was the desire to not parallel with T&T _that_ strong?" *ding

(Phoenix and Zak/Shadi play poker in the detention center) "Where did the glass go? Where did this table come from? I don't know, but look: Phoenix in his attorney suit!" *ding

"Shadi Enigmar. This asshole sucked enough ass as a victim. Now we gotta interact with him alive?" *three sins

(Trucy as a little girl) "..." *quietly removes a sin

"Trucy was supposed to have her first magic show the day her daddy disappeared forever. This is both heartbreaking and skipped over entirely. Did Trucy get to perform? I need closure for Trucy's first show!" *ding

"Also, Phoenix receives unverified evidence from a strange girl, and still uses it in court as if it's completely legit. I'd sin this harder than I'm going to... if this wasn't completely in character for the series up to this point. It isn't stupid of Kristoph to assume Phoenix would fall for the trap. It actually shows that he knows Phoenix (and his style) well enough to take a risk like this and have it pay off. Phoenix may be the dumb one for doing this, but he isn't out of character just yet." *sin, but only one

"Though I have to ask: how did Trucy not recognize Kristoph as the person who gave her the evidence? Did he have a messenger do it? Was he wearing a disguise? This is never explained." *ding

("They're calling him 'a true thoroughbred in the history of the prosecutor's office'... Of course, there's one of those every year.") "This cockiness is a large part of Phoenix's undoing, but I gotta say: Phoenix Wright would be awesome at CinemaSins." *ding

(Zak tells Phoenix he won't be declared guilty) "Foreshadowing." *ding

"Throwing the lawyer in with no information about the case cliche. AKA one of the most frustrating cliches in the series. I've said it before and I'll say it again: it only exists so the writers don't have to write an investigation sequence." *two sins

(Klavier as a teenager) "This character design. His fashion sense really improved over the years, didn't it?" *ding

"Klavier reads Phoenix's mind, but never once serves as the man's assistant or had a secret shared past with him. How is this possible?" *ding

"Detective Gumshoe." *removes a sin

("Today's the day, pal. Today, I win, and you lose!") "I remove a sin for Gumshoe, then he wastes his time on the stand foreshadowing what we already know to be true. But I really _don't_ want to give the entire sin back, so-" *I add half instead

"Using music from the first game. Their Logic theme isn't nearly as good, but-" *removes a sin for pure nostalgia

"Why did it take six days for this case to reach court? That's never explained." *ding

(Magnifi ordered his disciples to kill him) "Does killing under duress carry the same legal penalty as plain ol' murder in this universe? I ask because, under US law, defense of duress can lead to a full acquittal in some cases. I know it's not in Phoenix's style to believe their client did it, but why not at least try? He could avert his disbarment by doing this!" *ding

"This is a really nitpicky sin, but... when Apollo is the point of view character, sentences that end with both an exclamation point and a question mark have the two symbols in the correct order of '?!'. But when it's Phoenix, the game reverts back to the first game's habit of writing them in the wrong order, like '!?'. Why does this change by point of view? It seems too consistent to be unintentional (minus a few times in the final trial, this rule always holds), so if it was supposed to be done... why? What purpose could this possibly serve?" *ding

("You need to think for yourself, pal!" "You fail to grasp the concept of 'questioning', detective.") "...Oh, Phoenix. How I've missed you." *removes a sin

"Also, up until the fateful presenting of forged evidence, both defense and prosecution are making wonderful arguments that are logical, easy to follow and understand, and believable for their respective character. The dialogue is well paced and characterized, and the mystery is simple yet engaging. This may be the best writing of the entire game, and it's unfortunately overshadowed by the time-traveling, moral-bending bullshit that follows." *no sin

(Zak and Valant's Quick Draw Shootem) "'Character is ignorant of well-known information so that the audience can be informed' cliche." *ding

(Phoenix asks Klavier to prove how Zak would have gotten a second bullet) "Easy: the troupe had them on hand from when their shootem trick was popular. If Magnifi had one in each of the guns, they're clearly still lying around. I know Klavier is new at this, but really? Phoenix might be right here, but his argument proves nothing." *ding

(Zak refuses to explain why he can't refuse Magnifi) "Past incident is related to today cliche _inside_ past incident flashback that's related to the current case. That's two past incidents _in the same episode_ for the price of one. And I made fun of the first game for using so many." *ding

(Valant on the stand) "Damn. Young Valant was cute. Why did Thalassa pick Zak, again?" *ding

"Valant says the fact he reported the crime should clear him of suspicion, but we've had several killers call the police on their own murder in this series. Not to mention, someone who reported the crime to police was still made defendant earlier this very game. Well, not chronologically earlier, but you get my point." *ding

("And if it wasn't Zak Gramarye, then the killer was you, Valant. And no disappearing act will get you out of that.) "Phoenix incorrectly foreshadows the ending of this flashback. While there is indeed a disappearing act, it's Zak who runs away with the help of his daughter, not Valant. It also isn't Valant who killed Magnifi, but that's a sin for another time." *ding

(Klavier misspoke about rifling marks) "Irritating as this mistake (and consequent loss of a contradiction) is, I can completely believe a teenage prosecutor on his first case making a mistake like this. It truly makes me appreciate the dynamic of Phoenix being the more experienced lawyer for once in this series. This may be my love of Klavier talking, but-" *no sin

"If the doctor determined the precise time of death to be 11:10pm, why does the autopsy report only say the time of death was between 11:00 and 11:30? Did the first doctor disagree with the mortician? This isn't really explained." *ding

(Valant mentions receiving a bust of himself, and Phoenix complains it's a "trip down memory lane that no one needs") "If no one wants to remember Turnabout Big Top, why are they still writing in references to it? This is also never explained." *ding

(Valant's damage animation) "Have those doves and rabbits been on him this entire time? Why would Valant bring them to court with him? Wouldn't they just be a nuisance? And why are there no rules about bringing animals into this place?" *ding

"Also, the colors contradiction. Phoenix was an art student; he should know that blue and yellow make green. Sure, he later changes his claim to 'Valant shouldn't have known this', but that's not what he's saying here." *ding

(Klavier's theme plays for the first time this flashback when disproving the contradiction) "This music cue is extremely well done." *removes a sin

(Pursuit: Cornered plays) "I know I've already removes three sins for music in this review, but... I'm an Ace Attorney fan. And I don't know a single Ace Attorney fan who is _not_ a complete sucker for this song." *rocks out in the background while removing another sin

(Discussing why Valant knew the liquid color) "I hate to do the prosecution's work for him, but... isn't this easily explained? Magnifi Gramarye has been in the hospital for some time now. I find it hard to believe neither of his disciples visited him before being ordered to, if only to keep up appearances. Unless they always used a blue bag when giving him his IV, both Zak and Valant should be familiar with the liquid's color. Heck, Valant could just say the bag was clear the last time he visited and he assumed it was the same, and this contradiction would be done for. Once again, Phoenix might be right, but his argument doesn't prove that." *ding

(The judge is about to declare a second day of trial when-) "Klavier's theme music starts playing _before_ the dramatic 'pan between the characters after an interjection' reaches him. I would guess this bungled music cue is easy to fix, so why was it left in the game?" *ding

"Also, you know what I would love to see? Phoenix facing off against Klavier for a second time in AA7. Klavier wants to face Phoenix in an honest trial and Phoenix assures him he no longer holds any grudges about what happened way back when. It would be a nice resolution for the two's relationship, especially since we never see them apologize or forgive each other on-screen." *no sin, just me thinking

"Magnifi's diary clearly has a ripped page, but we aren't allowed to present that as evidence. No, the player has to get Phoenix disbarred instead. Which is a really hard thing to get players to do when they know exactly what's coming. Am I the only one who thinks it would have been better if the players did it the same way Phoenix did: without knowing the consequences until it was too late? They can't hide the fact that this is the case where Phoenix gets disbarred, but if we didn't know _exactly_ how? I, at least, would be on the edge of my seat the whole time. I swear, one of my biggest gripes with this case _and_ game is that it gives you all the dramatic information too early to have the appropriate impact, making it just feel... _flat_ and contrived. I'm not alone in thinking this way, right?" *ding

(Klavier tries to talk Phoenix out of using forged evidence, saying it's "not to late to rethink this and avoid more... embarrassment.") "Klavier is every player ever during the 'Phoenix presents forged evidence' scene for the reasons outlined above." *ding

"Drew Misham's hair." *ding

"Also, Drew Misham appears to have no eyeballs. The longer I look at it, the creepier it is." *ding

"Misham claims he leaves a mark on all 'his' work so that he knows it's 'his', but we never learn what that mark is. And isn't that a dumb thing to do if your job is to make exact forgeries of things?" *ding

"Phoenix is disbarred for unknowingly presenting forged evidence, but when Edgeworth did the same thing in SL-9, his only consequences were self-induced. I know I sinned this in my Rise from the Ashes review, but I'm sinning it here too, because no one explains this shit. Why is the punishment so unequal between the two men? Are defense attorneys held to stricter standards than prosecutors, for some reason? Does unknowingly presenting forged evidence have a two-year statute of limitations? Have the laws gotten stricter between 2015 and 2019 without our knowledge? Why does neither game explain this?!" *three sins

(Zak's escape act) "Instead of appealing his case like a normal person, Zak acts like a guilty man and flees the scene, leaving his eight-year-old daughter behind with no one to take care of her. Not that he'd be able to care for her from jail, but she'd at least be able to visit him, right? I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Zak Gramarye is a jerk." *two more sins

"The MASON System." *thirty sins

"Who is Phoenix talking to? The players? The jury? If the former, he's breaking the fourth wall more blatantly than usual. If the latter... How the fuck are they doing this? Did Phoenix become a game designer over the past seven years? Why didn't he go into that instead of piano playing? Is it a video they're just watching that he edited together? Where was he storing all seven years of footage, and when did he get good enough with computers and technology to make this? Isn't the software expen- I'm overthinking this when I can just as easily sin." *ding

(Wright and Co.) "How was Phoenix able to adopt Trucy? He's a single, unemployed, twenty six-year-old man whose only parenting experience is watching Pearl. What social worker is allowing this, and how many rules are they breaking in order to do it? Manfred Von Karma getting Edgeworth made more sense than this." *ding

(Trucy claims she's now directly descended from the famous Phoenix Wright) "That's... not quite how it works. Descend implies that you share blood with a person, and Phoenix is only your adoptive father. And yes, I _am_ really sinning an eight-year-old for not understanding genetics." *ding

(Trucy was Phoenix's light) "This is really sweet and all, but... where was Maya when all this happened? She hasn't gone off to Khura'in yet. She would have heard about it sooner or later. Edgeworth probably would have heard right away, Larry would have stumbled on it somehow or another, Gumshoe must be heartbroken, and so on, but the game can't even devote a sentence to explain where these people went after Phoenix's life shattered? Why not?" *ding

(Courthouse) "Mike Meekins. Don't ask why he was allowed to recur as a character. I genuinely have no idea." *ding

("I took my police uniform as a souvenir the day I was fired." "That can't be legal.") "Phoenix steals my lines." *ding

(Figuring out how Zak escaped) "Why is Lobby No. 1 right next to Courtroom No. 7? Wouldn't it make more sense to put it next to Courtroom No. 1? Who designed this courthouse like this? More importantly, _why?_ " *ding

("Tha-Tha(x40)- What's that?") "This goes on for some time." *ding

"Trucy was already working at the Wonder Bar at the age of eight? That-I'm sorry. That's _gotta_ be violating child labor laws." *ding

"The great Detective Guamshoe." *ding

(Borscht Bowl) "Why is the Borscht Bowl Club labelled under present day? The events we investigate there happened six months ago." *ding

"Look at Zak here. He's clearly in a expensive suit. Whatever he's been up to, he's making good money. Meanwhile, Phoenix has been banging away at a piano he can't play and throwing chips around in a dark room while Trucy's worked in bars from the age of eight to make ends meet. Phoenix even brings her down to cheat with him, all so they don't starve. Allow me to say it a third time: Zak Gramarye is a jerk." *three sins

"Also, how has Zak been able to go unnoticed all these years? He used to be famous on TV, and it's not like he changed his appearance." *ding

"How many times to we have to watch the same 'cards across table' animation? I swear, this must be the tenth time." *ding

"If Zak was planning on vanishing from the get-go, why did he care who his attorney was? The very fact he snubbed Kristoph is what set off this whole chain of events. Sure, he couldn't have known the guy was a psycho who would eventually kill him for it, but the fact remains that We Could Have Avoided This Plot. Very easily. We don't even have a solid reason for it happening in the first place, and the game expects me to be invested in anything that goes on? The fuck?" *ding

"And why did Zak even need to run anyway if he just wanted to keep the transferal of rights for himself and eventually Trucy? Would it not still pass to Trucy if he were imprisoned? I don't understand his reasoning, and I don't think the game does either." *ding

"Also, Zak had the real diary page with him the whole time, and never felt the need to say anything. Even when they were discussing the diary, and he saw Phoenix with a fake page. Do I need to say it again? Please don't say I need to say it again." *four sins

(Zak gives the transferal of rights to Phoenix) "I'm glad Trucy is allowed to perform Magnifi's magic, but... why is this considered legit? The person handling it is a disbarred attorney known for forging things, and as we all saw from the first trial day, Brushel isn't exactly a reliable witness. Who's gonna believe Phoenix got this letter from a guy who disappeared seven years ago three days before time runs up? I mean, I know they end up believing him, but why? What reason has Phoenix given to convince everyone he's credible when he proved to Apollo and the player just how capable of deception he is in the first act of the game? Do the scriptwriters think I'm blindly on his side just because he used to be the main character? I think they genuinely want to believe that." *ding

"Also, even _if_ they believe Phoenix actually got this paper from Zak Gramarye... why would they believe Zak got it from Magnifi? For all they know, Zak forged the page himself to give his daughter one last gift and get back at his old rival. The only other people who could confirm Zak was given the rights are Magnifi, who's dead, and Valant, who has no interest in doing so. Why the ever loving _fuck_ does no one question this?" *ding

"...And shouldn't the paper say 'Shadi Enigmar', not 'Zak Gramarye'? Legal documents are supposed to use legal names, no?" *okay, I promise. That is my last sin for this.

(Solitary Cell 13) "I would sin Kristoph's lavish cell, but having played AAI2 now, I'm not as surprised by it as I used to be. In fact, I'm more impressed he managed to get that giant ass bookshelf into the cell. The cell door clearly isn't big enough, and Kristoph doesn't strike me as a talented furniture builder, so... how the fuck did this ever happen?" *ding

"Though I do have to ask: where is Kristoph's bed in this cell? Or his toilet? He's in Solitary Confinement. Those cells should have such things." *ding

"The Black Psyche Locks. The next game tries to come up with an explanation for them, but that doesn't change the fact that they were just meant to be an unbreakable dead end in this one." *ding

(Examining the bookshelf) "What bird is that? It looks like someone shrunk Polly and made her purple." *ding

"Vongole sounds utterly adorable. Like, cuter than Shoe adorable. So naturally, we never meet her." *ding

(Kristoph lets Phoenix have his nail polish) "Villain unwittingly gives hero weapon needed to defeat them cliche. In fairness to Kristoph, there's no way he could have known Phoenix would travel back in time and show it to twelve-year-old Vera. I'm going out on a limb here, but I'd say that's typically _not_ the first thing people think of when they lend someone something." *ding

(Drew Studio) "Misham's wife divorced him for being a broke-ass painter, but left their daughter behind. In real life, Mrs. Misham would at least have to pay child support and would be way more likely to win custody of the kid, but hey: parallels gotta parallel, yo." *ding

"If Misham was given a handwritten sample of what Kristoph wanted written on the page, couldn't Phoenix use handwriting analysis to link Kristoph to the forgery? It's not strong evidence, no, but it's better than 'recreated' letters obtained illegally. Kristoph also appears to have handwritten the letter regarding payment, and that's already been accepted as evidence in the current trial. Why does Phoenix not even try this?" *ding

(Breaking Misham's Psyche-Locks) "We get flashbacks for things that happened literally ten seconds ago. Who thought that was necessary, and why?" *ding

"Vera Misham's profile at twelve has information about her nineteen-year-old self. This bothers me more than it should." *ding

"Misham left his daughter alone in the studio with someone who paid six figures for forged evidence and never revealed their identity to him. And he wonders how she nearly got kidnapped once." *ding

("Still looking for the keys that say 'do re me'. Can't find them anywhere!") "Solfege syllable 'mi' is misspelled. No wonder Phoenix has trouble finding it." *ding

(Phoenix pretends to be a Gramarye fan) "This act is so obviously fake, it's hilarious. (Mocking him) 'Woah! Magic! ...You know?'" *ding

(In detention with Valant) ("It does no good to interfere with the past, Mr. Wright. You will not uncover answers. Only wounds.") "Valant tries to warn Phoenix out of creating the MASON System. It goes badly." *ding

(Phoenix talking to Brushel) "Brushel confirms Zak is a physically abusive friend, but is too interested in a story to leave him alone. And I don't know who's worse in this scenario... Eh. Why sin one when you can sin both?" *two sins

(Brushel claims Thalassa's first husband "died in an accident on stage".) "You know, you'd think with re-releases made after Spirit of Justice, they'd be more inclined to clean up the retconning like they did in the trilogy. Too bad they didn't consider it worth the effort." *ding

"Brushel carries a portrait of his friend's 'dead' wife with him everywhere he goes and no one thinks that's weird." *ding

(Phoenix talks about passing on the torch to the next generation, saying it's "not my role anymore") "...Until we find out that players as a majority don't like that idea, and keeping coming up with excuses to give Phoenix at least half the spotlight in every following game to the point where his subordinates and Trucy suffer for it. Not sure what game I'm sinning here, but it's a sin nonetheless." *ding

(Phoenix says he needs to meet the one who helped give the Gramarye power to another generation with Thalassa) "Jove Justice? Sorry to tell you this, Phoenix, but he's been dead a little while n- oh, you meant Zak. Dammit." *ding

"Phoenix says he can't remember Apollo's name... even when he has it written twice on the guy's profile." *ding

("So Trucy has an older brother... I wonder what will come of that.") "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Phoenix knows who Apollo's mother is, but feels no need to tell him, even after two fucking years. This game could have tied up that plot thread nice and neatly right in this case. Dual Destinies could have done more than their bare minimum to avoid retconning this game and devoted a case to this reveal. Spirit of Justice could have brought it up in the convoluted beast of a case that was Turnabout Revolution, where we learned about Apollo's father. It has been ten plus years and two main series games since this reveal, and there are still hanging threads, all because Yamakazi didn't feel like cleaning up Takumi and Endo's mess. I don't know who I'm sinning here, but it's a sin nonetheless." *ding

(Explaining how Perceiving works) "Several minutes of pseudo-scientific bullshit. We have spirit channeling in this universe. We accept the existence of magic. Just call your superpower magic and get on with it." *ding

(Valant of the present has Psyche-Locks) "Of the eight portions of the MASON System, seven of the feature Psyche-Locks. One even features two: Drew's and Vera's. That is _way_ too many Psyche-Lock segments to cram into a short ass period of time. What, did they think we'd miss the feature so much in the rest of the game, we'd want a whole game's worth in the finale? (Mockingly) 'And _you_ get some Psyche-Locks, and _you_ get some Psyche-Locks, and _you_ -'" *ding

(Showing Valant the Transferal of Rights) "When did Phoenix go visit Valant in this MASON System? I ask because the day before the first trial, he gave this evidence to Trucy and Apollo. Now, he has... woah. I just realized that of the eight events in this MASON System, I only actually know when three of them happened, much less when they happened in relation to each other. That's what happens when you feel like going on an acid trip through some time-wimey bullshit of a finale investigation. I'd be angrier than I am, but honestly, I'm more confused. And when I'm confused like this, I refuse to give a shit about anything told to me until it makes sense. In this case, it never does." *five sins

"Phoenix presents damaging evidence to the sort-of villain and is surprised when it goes- wait, Valant doesn't just make the evidence disappear? Why the fuck not? It's what I'd do, if I were him." *ding

"Phoenix suggests the possibility of a third disciple as a joke, but Spirit of Justice takes him seriously. And so is Mr. Reus is born." *ding

(Magnifi killed himself) "Even if Magnifi was going to kill himself after this... did he have to make it look like Valant murdered him? What else did he think Valant was going to do but try to shift the blame off himself? His manipulative, controlling, over-dramatic antics in death are the cause of this entire story's problems, and if he hadn't been the asshole he was, none of this would have happened. I suppose this is where Zak gets it?" *ding

"Valant is slightly less of a jerk than Zak and Magnifi. I'd remove a sin, if I wasn't an asshole with higher standards than this." *ding

"Valant plays the pronoun game regarding Thalassa for no apparent reason." *ding

(Back to Solitary Cell 13) "Kristoph isn't in his cell, but the guard lets Phoenix enter anyway. Why? Was he in on Phoenix's plan to catch Kristoph in a second murder? Did Phoenix pay him off? This is never explained." *ding

(The yellow letter) "This letter should be addressed to Kristoph Gavin, but is instead addressed to a man named David Krisler. Furthermore, Blazing Springs, California is not a real place that exists, nowhere in LA only uses three numbers for street addresses, and to top it off, while there _is_ an Apple Street in Los Angeles (where the localized series takes place), it's zip-code is 90016, not 96012. Why make this letter heading legible if all the information on it is wrong? It's like this game is begging me to give it more sins than it will ever need. Is it _trying_ to beat Turnabout Revolution?" *Know what? I'll indulge its request. Five sins

(Contents of the letter) "'Like you said it would'? Have Kristoph and Misham been keeping in contact all these years? Kristoph never mentioned this in his red letter, so they must be. If so, how did Phoenix not find out about this sooner? As Phoenix has just proved, snooping through letters isn't exactly difficult business, and he had access to both men. Are you telling me in his seven year investigation, he never saw evidence of this on either side until now?" *ding

(The camera/button reveal) "...Okay, that was cool." *removes a sin

"Whoo hoo! The MASON System is over, I'm free, I can- wait, there's still a trial after this? _Why?!_ The jury's seen the MASON System Phoenix edited together. They have all the information they need to make the choice he wants them to, and nothing presented in the trial will change that. I don't hate playing as Apollo, and think he's actually a good lawyer in this game, but in the game's final chapter, he's written to be utterly useless. If you take even a second to think about it. there are zero stakes in the last part of this game. Apollo could show up to the second day of court dressed like Moe the Clown, do nothing but tell bad jokes the entire time, and nothing about the trial's results would change. And that is why Apollo got a bad reputation as a character from this case. Because this game did him _dirty_." *ten sins

"Hey, what was Apollo doing while the MASON System was going on? Did he just spend the entire rest of the day yesterday at the hospital, or slacking off in the office? He clearly never watched the MASON System, because he still doesn't know who his mother is, and it's not like he really has to do anything (for the reasons outlined above), but hey: a girl can be curious." *ding

"And once again, the court feels no need to suspend their proceedings while their nineteen-year-old career criminal defendant faces near death after a long delayed murder attempt that ends up being a really close call, a la Turnabout Corner. If they don't have to suspend their verdict when the defendant is on the brink of death, why do they have to do it when the defendant flees the building? What are the rules on whether or not to continue the trial? And don't you dare tell me the plot." *ding

("Mr. Wright told me everything that's been going on behind the curtain all these years.") "No he did not." *ding

"Why does the judge know Kristoph's cell number from memory?" *ding

("Owning the same nail polish does not a murderer make.") "As much as I want to diss this line as being Yoda speak, it's actually grammatically correct. Believe it or not." *so I can't sin it. Just stare at how weird it looks

"Brand name gavels are a thing that exists in this universe. Who knew?" *ding

(Kirstoph's hand devil) "This tell Creeps. Me. Out." *ding

(Kristoph challenges the validity of Perceive, asking if all tense witnesses are guilty) "Kristoph Gavin would be awesome at CinemaSins. Now wouldn't _that_ be interesting?" *ding

"Kristoph Gavin is so savage delivering penalties... I almost want to remove a sin." *but I don't. This case doesn't deserve it

("Or perhaps you'd like to suggest I can somehow manipulate coincidence?") "Well, Phoenix Wright is pretty good at it. It's not like it's much of a stretch." *ding

(Klavier calls Kristoph out on his bullshit) "Klavier Gavin is awesome... and still making our case for us in the goddamn finale. I feel like removing and adding a sin simultaneously." *in the end, they cancel out

(Apollo insists Phoenix couldn't have ordered the forgery) "Nothing Apollo is saying is wrong here, but isn't there a much easier way to prove this? Just ask yourself a simple question: Since when does Phoenix have a hundred grand in disposable income?" *ding

(Phoenix's forgery of the letter) "Not only is the handwriting terrible, but Phoenix didn't even correctly copy the bullshit heading. David becomes Dasit, 424 Apple Street becomes 121, and the zip code both loses a number _and_ changes, becoming 9801. Again, hilariously inaccurate information that is left legible for no reason." *three more sins for this

(Kristoph insists the reproduction and MASON System shouldn't be considered evidence) "I wanna be mad at the Big Bad for this, but he's _completely_ correct. Even if they were holding a Jurist Trial instead of an Initial Trial, why would evidence law change? Phoenix Wright has clearly revealed himself to have a personal interest in the outcome of this trial, and has proved earlier this game he has no problem altering evidence and hiding inconvenient facts whenever it suits him. How do we know he didn't do that in the MASON System? He's known for forging evidence (even though the allegations were false, he embraces it in time for the first case), and only got his position as head of the jury through (likely) long time contacts in law enforcement (implied to be Edgeworth, though I choose to believe Edgeworth didn't know the details. His moral code in Dual Destinies is irreconcilable with this bullshit). He was given free reign over the jury to influence them however he wants, and no one is overseeing his work to make sure the trial is fair.

"Sure, you can defend Phoenix by saying this was all he could do to bring Kristoph to justice, but this is where the sin I mentioned in the first case comes into play again: why should I care about taking down a man who's already in jail? Any victim we could have saved by doing so is dead or dying (she's saved for some unknown reason if declared not guilty. Don't ask me how. I don't know), and really, the only person who gets a practical benefit out of doing this... is Phoenix Wright himself. He gets out from under the forgery accusations and can become a lawyer again. Through this warped lens... can we really believe Phoenix is telling us the truth? Or has he become an unreliable narrator we're just expected to believe in because of our past memories?

"...Sounds pretty cool on paper, right? I swear, this concept would be a _lot_ more interesting if it wasn't executed so poorly." *ding

(Trucy already knew what happened to her father) "And she went through with her role in the first case and this one anyway, not even pausing to grieve. Go Trucy." *removes a sin

(Explaining Kristoph's plan) "Game considers us incapable of understanding this from the MASON System alone. How dumb does the game think we are?" *ding

"To this day, Kristoph's breakdown is the only one that still scares me. I can sit through all the others no problem. This one? Have to cover the screen." *accidentally removes a sin

(Klavier and His Honor's speeches) "...It's at this moment I remember that Japan was moving to a Jurist system of its own while this game was being made. Nice as these speeches are, they sound like direct quotes from politicians. The sheer amount of corruption that Phoenix gets away with to prove his point, and our (the jury's) willingness to accept it... this game series started as a funhouse mirror of Japanese law, and this entry is no different. On one side, you've got lawfully evil Kristoph Gavin. We agree he's guilty, but the current system can't prove it. On the other, we have morally grey Phoenix Wright, who manipulates the people around him and does every evil thing Kristoph does, bar murder, to take his opponent down. On the surface, this game seems to support the new system. But look deeper, and I think they were poking holes at it. Especially by 2015, when the Jurist System in DGS is bases on rash fits of emotion and little else. The argument made here for the Jurist System is the same argument Ryu makes against the Jurist System in the first DGS (and, I have to assume, DGS2). Again: would be a lot more interesting if it didn't require _time travel._ " *but no sin

(Phoenix put the defense team's _mom_ on the jury) "You know what I bet the real reason Phoenix hasn't told Apollo yet is? He doesn't want anyone to realize how biased his test trial was. If they did, they would do more than throw the system out. They would throw _him_ out. For good this time." *ding

"Also... how is Thalassa a juror? She's not even an American citizen as Lamiroir! It is impossible to get US citizenship in three months, and foreign residents are not allowed to serve on juries by law. How the fuck is she even here?" *ding

"This is the stupidest, most easily avoided bad ending ever. Why would the player choose to vote against their own case?" *I don't even care that this is almost over. Five sins anyway

"Game pretends to end on a hopeful note, like it doesn't even wanna touch the darker side of how its issues got resolved. Perhaps they were meant to, but the series went six years without a direct sequel, and Dual Destinies did what it could to pretend this game didn't exist. New writer, new new lawyer, new graphics, new everything. Maybe I'd be happy to forget this game exists too, if I wasn't so goddamn stubborn." *but no more sins. Be happy the credits are rolling.

 **Total Sin Tally: 213.5**

 **Sentence: Jurist Trial Congressional Committee (during Kristoph's testimony)**

* * *

 **A/N's: So it's three am. I've been working on this since seven yesterday evening, and was up to the MASON system at that point. I was expecting to clock in at around six thousand words.**

 **There's eight and a half thousand. Closer to nine, actually. Needless to say, there was a _lot_ wrong with this case.**

 **Sure, I had to go back and edit the next morning, but I didn't want to wait any longer to have this case sinned and out of the way. Believe it or not, I'd rather be sinning Justice For All (which is next). Even Turnabout Big Top, while flawed, had different flaws than this case. This one isn't ranked as the wrost finale for me, but it's down there. the highest it's ever ranked is seventh out of ten games, and the lowest is ninth. I go back and forth.**

 **For anyone curious, the total sin tally of this entire game is 506. Lower than DD and SoJ, but higher than the first game. Don't know if that's significant to anyone, but now you know.**

 **Anyway hope you all enjoyed my sleep deprived rambling and that I somewhat fixed it. Thanks for sticking with me, please review, and I'll see you on the far side!**


End file.
